Friday, 25 May 2007

Phrases I would sometimes like in Chinese on my t-shirt

No, I'm British

I don’t speak English

Stare any longer and I’ll follow you home

I don’t have SARS

I have SARS

Out of my fucking way

650 p/h

Yes it is true

The same as on my head

100nt per question

Free

Where is the airport?

Nosy little sod aren’t you

First day in Taiwan

I don’t want a receipt or a straw

Get up - I’m pregnant

You’re uglier than your photo suggests too

I have no interest in language exchange either

Spoilt foreigner alert

I’m always full

Victim of reverse racism

Ignore this message

Don’t feed the narcissist

Betel nut girls don’t spit

7 comments:

david on formosa said...

I'll suggest a few more:

I am not an English teacher
I am not an American

Maoman said...

How about "Women waiguoren dou shi zheyangzi."

Robo said...

That's great!

Honestly, I would buy some of these if they really were shirts.

I also added some more:

* "Speak slower" does not mean "Speak English."
* I'm not from the Netherlands*
* I don't need a fork.
* There's no audience. It's a laugh track. No one's laughing, because it's not funny. Donald Duck is not saying "Oh, my God!" and nobody's gasping in disbelief, because it's all quite believable. And, no she is not ke ai, so please change the channel.**
* Please, don't pet me.
* Where are all the ninjas?
* Where's your sword?
* I speak zhong1 guo2 hua4...I mean, tai2 wu3....I mean, zhong1 wen2.
* There is no Mainland.
* French people aren't really romantic, and Paris smells like urine most of the time.
* Give me your wallet, and maybe you can touch my beard.
* Of course it's bigger....a lot bigger.
* Do I look like I want a Snoopy hologram?
* I love Thailand.

* For redheads
** Only available in XL and XXL

merge said...

Here are a few more:

Seen enough yet?

We all know how to use chopsticks.

Thanks, but we both know my Chinese sucks.

Because I'm hiding from the police back home.

somimi said...

Hah! Makes me wish I were a Caucasian foreigner, just so I could get me one of these shirts.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mate
Keep on the blog and start a tshirt production :)
I'll see u next week around disheng

greg in shanghai

Tobie said...

The "Wo BU SHR MEIGUOREN!" one definiteluy gets my vote :)